Forbidden Love

Did you know that Marguerite Duras, the French writer who spent her childhood in colonial Indochina, began an affair with a 27 year old son of a Chinese landowner when she was 15 years old? She would sneak away from her boarding school in Saigon to spend evenings in his bachelor's quarters in the city's Chinatown. Apparently this scandalous affair served as raw material for her 1984 novel, "The Lover".

As documented in an article in the NY Times of 30 April, it is still possible to retrace some of her narrative in Vietnam. The author retraced many of the lovers' steps in Saigon and the surrounding areas. I thought it was interesting that he found a photograph in the Chua Huong pagoda of the Chinese man and the woman he eventually married. Apparently the parents of the Chinese man forbid him to marry Duras. The author of the article writes: "Was there regret in his eyes? Years after their affair, he phoned Duras in Paris to tell her he would never stop loving her for the rest of her life. Perhaps that is why his wife, in her photo, looks so uncomfortable, so unloved".

How interesting that he would still love her, unseen, after so many years. And that as a result, his wife would be forever unloved.

I have not read "The Lover". Perhaps I should.

La Perla

Un negozio a Roma, dove si vende l'intimo, 'La Perla'.

Rome

Rome is a wonderful city. It's disorganized and chaotic, but seems to work. The people are friendly, the food is wonderful, and there are endless things to see, no matter what your interests are. I spent 9 days there and I wish I had been able to post to this blog wherever I was, because there were so many things I would have liked to write about. I'm not sure I can remember them all, but perhaps looking at the photos I took will bring some of them back.

Above is a photo of my son Devin on a set of steps leading down to Via Veneto. This was taken on Monday, 17 April, in the late afternoon; it had been lightly raining for some time and the skies were cloudy. I like the photo because it's a bit surreal.

This photo reminds me of two incidents with Devin, both on a trip to Pompeii on 13 April. On the bus drive to Naples from Rome, we stopped at the half-way point for bathrooms and coffee. I got off the bus with Devin and brought him to the bathroom. Back upstairs, in a combination coffee-bar convience store, he spotted bags of animal cookies on the shelf. He asked me if he could have one, and I said yes. He was so happy, he jumped up and down. Sometimes it's just good to say yes.

Later that day, after visiting Pompeii, we were walking through a parking lot filled with souvenir stands. Devin went off on his own with a five-euro note. He looked around and selected a small plate (about 2" in diameter) with a picture of erupting Vesuvius on it. Then it was time to leave, and I called him to come. The man tending the stand asked him if he wanted to buy the plate; he thought a bit, nodded yes, and handed the man the note, who then got him his change. He did it all by himself; he's an independent guy. I was very proud of him.

Santa Lucia

I was in Italy last week; Rome, to be exact. One day, we took a trip south to Pompeii. On the way, the bus made a brief stop in Naples, where we got out to view the harbor and a nice image of Mt. Vesuvius. After that stop, we drove very near Pompeii, stopping at a restaurant for lunch. It was a large place, well suited to receive the contents of many tour busses. Nevertheless, the food was very good.

Once we were seated, two older men playing guitar and mandolin circulated among the tables, playing Neapolitan songs. I paid little attention to them. At one point, they began singing. After a few bars of the song, I looked up because the singer was very, very good. I was surprised to see a Korean man, from one of the tour buses, singing along with the two Italians! He was singing 'Santa Lucia', and boy, was he good! He had a near-operatic voice. As he went through the song, everyone stopped eating, looked up, and listed. When he was done, he received a great round of applause. What a wonderful performance!

When I came home, I just had to find the lyrics of this song; I also downloaded a version by Enrico Caruso. Yes, I plan to memorize the song and sing it until I get it right. I'll never have an operatic voice, but perhaps I'll be able to sing it in tune. Then, one day, I might be able to sing it in a Neapolitan restaurant. Maybe even play guitar as well.

Santa Lucia is dedicated to the city of Naples and to the Santa Lucia area which faces the Gulf of Naples. The lyrics are the words of a boatman describing the view from Santa Lucia: It is night and the moon is reflected in the sea. He tells us of the indescribable magic that one can feel while watching the boats in the sea; how they sail softly, driven by gentle breezes. The boatman invites people to board his boat saying how you will admire the sea and the city of Naples.

Naples is described beautifully in this song as, "suolo beato, ove sorridere volle il Creato" (holy soil, smiled upon by the Creator). The Santa Lucia quarter is called "impero dell'armonia" (the empire of harmony).

It's a wonderful song; the words are lovely and the melody is memorable. Since my maternal grandparents were from the area of Napoli, I remember it well from my youth. Hearing it brought back memories.

SANTA LUCIA

Sul mare luccica
L'astro d'argento
Placida è l'onda
Prospero il vento;
Venite all'agile
Barchetta mia;
Santa Lucia! Santa Lucia!

Con questo zeffiro
Così soave,
Oh, come è bello
Star sulla nave.
Su passeggeri,
Venite via;
Santa Lucia! Santa Lucia!

In' fra le tende
Bandir la cena,
In una sera
Così serena.

Chi non dimanda,
Chi non desia;
Santa Lucia! Santa Lucia!

Mare sì placido,
vento sì caro,
Scordar fa i triboli
Al marinaio.
E va gridando
Con allegria:
Santa Lucia! Santa Lucia!

O dolce Napoli,
O suol beato,
Ove sorridere
Volle il creato,
Tu sei l'impero
Dell'armonia,
Santa Lucia! Santa Lucia!

Or che tardate?
Bella è la sera;
Spira un'auretta
Fresca e leggiera;
Venite all'agile
Barchetta mia;
Santa Lucia! Santa Lucia!

(T. Cottrau - Longo 1835)

On Beauty

From domai.com, a website about beautiful women. The webmaster promises:


1. never to my willful knowledge let a beautiful girl pass without enjoying the sight.
2. never to speak slightingly of or underestimate the importance of beauty and grace, and always support it in conversation when needed.
3. to keep beauty near my heart and always be aware that it is what is keeping us happy and content, and much of what makes life worth living.
4. never to let merely intellectual pursuits, important as they may be, distract me for any undue length of time.
5. to keep in mind that beauty is a spiritual thing, no more and no less.
6. to always keep a pure mind when seeing beauty, or, failing that, at least take pleasure thinking what I am thinking.
7. to remember that seeing is the only form of having that is actual. Thus, what you can see you can have. The reason for possessing anything is to prevent others from having it too, a pointless exercise.
8. to not be bothered when they go away. There will always be more.
9. to enjoy life and what it has given me, and in return to support life and be constructive.

How to get girls to like you

This evening my son asked me how to get a girl to like him. Apparently there is a girl in his karate class that he likes. So I suggested he talk with her, write her letters, be nice to her, do things for her (like help her carry something), buy her a granola bar (at which he frowned, and I said, well, chocolates would be good, but in case she doesn't like chocolate), take her to a movie or out for ice cream, or call her on her cell phone. At which he responded, Dad, I'm only 11, I don't think I can take her places. But he did like the other ideas.

I saw a movie preview recently where a boy is sitting on a bench in Central Park, and asks his Dad a similar question. The Dad answers, 'I don't think I'm the right person to ask that'. I could have answered the same, but I prefer to give my children some positive answers.

But truly, you can do all of the things I told Aidan, but in the end, it's YOU that the girl or woman will respond to. The other things just give opportunity for her further study. If she doesn't like you, you are out of luck.

Spring

Spring arrived last week, but the weather remained cold until late this past week. It became possible to wear a light coat, and not feel frozen at night. Plus, the sun rose earlier and set later; at least going to and from work does not feel as confining. While I do like the night, there is something unsettling about darkness starting and finishing the work day.

The warm weather is nice, and everyone gets excited about it, but in a month we'll already be used to it. Furthermore, when it is very hot, we'll all be looking forward to fall. We're just never happy. I think the excitement at spring is just a matter of the change to warmth after the long winter months. After all, no one gets so excited when summer comes, or when fall or winter arrive. It's only spring that seems to wake people up, and then for only a few weeks. Then they slide back into their routines.

It's a rather down way to look at spring, I know, but it's how I feel about it.